Life with dyslexia while studying for a masters and moving around at the same time sure isn’t easy. At the beginning of the year I had all these plans for this blog, but I’ve had to come to terms with that a lot of them probably won’t be happening – at least not until I hand in my dissertation at the end of June. Living with dyslexia while trying to complete a masters program is proving very taxing on my mental health at the moment. I have to do a lot of reading for my literature review, and even though I know that my difficulties in getting it done right are down to my dyslexia it is causing me a lot of frustration. Don’t get me wrong, I love how dyslexia has given me tools to see and do a lot of other things really well, but at times the pressures of needing to conform to norms outside of my abilities just gets to me. I wish I could be graded on how well I hang an artwork or some other practical thing where I don’t have to fight with my brain to get it done, but where I could instead collaborate with the knowledge it holds. Anyway, all this to say that with all this happening I’ve felt zero energy to do any blogging, or rather zero energy to complete the blog posts I’ve been working on. I have 3 lined up that need varying degrees of editing, two about books I’ve read and one about a talk I went to. I’ve also finished reading another book that I need to write a blog post about. I’ve also travelled a bit over the last few weeks, so I’d love to share some pictures from the places I’ve visited. Let’s see what happens.
Featured image by Cameron Casey on Pexels.com
I’m in London for a few days visiting family and meeting with friends. The January Blues came knocking this past week, so decided to spend the morning in nature to try and clear my head a bit. It’s been misty and wet all morning, but as I write this sitting on bench practically alone in this part of Hampstead Heath the sun is fighting to shine through the clouds. The birds are chirping away and it’s hard to believe that this is London, a city with millions of residents and yet only a few dozens of people have walked past where I’m sitting.
January blues are the worst, one moment you’re fine – hell I felt finally on top of the world in the first two weeks of the year – the next everything is annoying and unimportant. In my quest for self discovery I wonder though if this years blues might be tied to my worries and annoyance at not being able to identify what area of museum studies I want to explore for my dissertation, the knowledge that in a few short weeks teaching is over and it’s time to start preparing for what will come next, having to find out where to move to when teaching ends, hoping to find placement that I’ll find fulfilling… oh yeah and an essay due in next week..
I’m sure there’s a whole lot more on my list, but for now I’ll take a deep breath, listen to the wind and birds in the trees around me and try to recharge my batteries. After all, when life hands you lemons – make lemonade..
Featured photograph by Sasha Andersen of a view of Hampstead Heath.
I am dyslexic. Not in the ‘letters jump around on the page’-kind of way, but in the ‘my reading speed is extremely slow and I have great trouble forming a coherent argument as my thoughts get jumbled very easily’-kind of way. I did not get diagnosed until I was in my first year of university, despite being tested in my final year of college – turns out it takes a more holistic approach to be diagnosed when you have developed coping mechanisms for undiagnosed dyslexia. But why am I telling you all this? Well, I am finally ready – seven years after being diagnosed – to figure out what my life can look like living with dyslexia. For too long I have treated it as a crutch. This blog is part of that process for me. I want to create a place where I can hold my self accountable to exploring my identity – dyslexia and all. A place where I can document my growths, struggles, frustrations and great experiences alike.
In the past 10 years I have read maybe only a handful of books – I have had very little drive to read and great frustration when a book took longer than a week to complete – often resulting it being put away unread. Granted part of the reason was that I was in university where the reading burden was large and looming, especially with my type of dyslexia… but also I was unaware of the consequences of allowing years of frustration with my reading speed dictate my relationship with books. In recent years I have taken a great interest in the principles of Cognitive Behavioural Theory (CBT), in particular the emphasis it puts on the importance of thought processes. Thanks to this method I have come to lots of realisations about my life, and managed to reassess a wealth of situations that previously stomped me, but more importantly it is currently helping me change my relation to reading. I am on a quest to change my relationship with books. So far for 2019 I have read a whole book and am well underway with the second. Might this be the year where I read at least twelve books before December 31st?
Featured photograph by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com